Today, in the latest move in the War Against the Dogs, I bought myself a clean and mean Super Soaker machine. A pocket model, but nonetheless accommodated with a five meter shooting range. I hardly can wait to use it. This is going to be fun!

Dogs, my dear readers, don't like cyclists. They don't see you as a human being on a bicycle. What they see is a single object, a strange unknown animal that needs to be scared and chased. You really don't want to know what it is like to be chased by a bunch of aggressive canines in for the kill, trying to bite your feet. Because that is what they do: try to bite parts that move. Now you try not to move going uphill.

Some cyclists have a Dazzer. A Dazzer is an electronic device that produces a sound not noticable by humans but unbearable by dogs. At least so it is said. People told me it doesn't work.

I do have a less high-tech device though: a whistle. It produces a 110 dB tone that almost makes me deaf. As well as the dogs. It usually works against a single dog. In a group the dogs seem to encourage each other to chase me nonetheless.

Other weaponry is available to the poor cyclist. Throwing stones on their heads usually scares them away. Throwing sand into their eyes should work too. But I do not carry these items on my bike. I have a Super Soaker. And I'm ready to use it.